It's springtime in the South. The azaleas are gorgeous, the kids are playing outside. The pollen is thick, the temperatures are all over the place. My glands are swollen, my throat is sore. It never fails. So as I sit here in my yoga pants with a stack of tissues, I thought I'd share a few of my vintage happy thoughts. These just crack me up...
Ah yes...the secret of every attractive couple...Youth, Love, and Lard. And they lived Happily Ever After...
Speaking of staying attractive. A great way to stay slim and trim:
And another fine use for your favorite cola:
Feed it to your baby! Forget all the Mommy Debates of today (and there are plenty to ensure the healthiest and safest baby possible!). No one will even look twice at you if you pour up a soda in the playtex rapid flow bottle. Read the fine print: "Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of cola and other sugary carbonated beverages right now to guarantee a lifetime of happiness". Who knew it was so easy! Homey, go get yourself a Pepsi...I want you to be happy.
If all that caffeine gets your nerves all wacked out...we got something for that too!
That ad reminds me of the episode of Andy Griffith when Aunt Bea and her pals get schnockered on some elixir. Cracks me up every time. But seriously, it's no wonder that these women were at the end of their ropes. Check it out:
Really? That's all I got. Really?!
Then there's this one:
I know you probably can't make it all out, but it's an ad for Lysol. Referring to marriage distress. It is actually suggesting that you use this product for certain, ahem, areas of your body to ensure freshness...and therefore wonderful marital relations. Lawsie. I find this substance too caustic for cleaning my house, never mind using it, um, there! Just wow. I hope ol' Dave had an enjoyable evening. Ew.
Rule #1 to Domesticity: Keep beer in the fridge in case you burn dinner. I sure do!
And finally...I may be the only person that thinks this ad is dreamy:
I vacuum, therefore I am. Amen.